FAQ: How Do You Stay So Positive?
I’ve changed a lot over the last six years. And each day, each moment and every single scenario I have ever endured has serendipitously confronted me with choices and decisions which have progressively influenced my character and shaped me into the person I am today. I find that remarkable.
I certainly wasn’t always a happy, positive soul. I have endured dark personal demons which were enough to make me want to give up a lot of the time. Even these moments and hard times have helped to develop me, and taught me vital things about not only life, but also myself. I am blessed to have grown from my past, and have discovered that I do actually control my own attitude, even if I cannot control the chemicals and hormones of my mind and my body. And from my past, I have developed a little saying that I live by;
“I want to be so insanely happy, that anyone who comes within 20 feet of me can’t help but feel the same way!”
I want to infect others with happiness, and spread it to as many souls as possible. I have found that moods, energy and attitudes are contagious, and I want to help others live as happily and freely as possible, and in return, it will provide me with equal happiness and joy.
I know that doing good, actually FEELS good. So I guess you could say that my positivity and happiness is sourced from having the ability or potential to help others feel the same way.
There is nothing I find more fulfilling than putting a smile on someone else's face, and knowing that I am in some way able to help or support others.
In saying that, I am not ALWAYS positive. It is only human for us to feel an array of emotions, including negative feelings. It’s normal – healthy. Denying ourselves the ability to freely feel that creates the potential for more drama later; the explosive bottle theory. Remind yourself every now and then that crying is okay. Feeling bad, angry, mad and sad are all natural emotions, and it does not make you a negative person to feel these. Nor does it make you weak. In fact, understanding and accepting these feelings shows you are alive, strong.
Knowing this, I consciously make the effort to:
1. Allow myself to feel these emotions, but not dwell on them. I like the saying ‘accept the things you cannot change and change the things you cannot accept’.
2. Understand the difference between ‘feeling’ negative and ‘being’ negative. Do not define yourself by your emotions.
3. Always remember that you are in control of your own attitude. No, you do not have control over your hormonal and chemical levels, but your attitude is steered solely by you. So choose to have a positive attitude, your mind is SUCH a powerful tool, incomprehensibly and intricately divine — use it wisely. There are so many benefits not only to you but also to those around you!
4. Take note of how your own attitude and mood can affect those around you; peers, friends, family etc. Your mindset can influence their mindset also – you subconsciously have the power to brighten other people's days. Now you know this, what are you going to do differently?
5. I try my best to remain contained when I am feeling upset, hurt and miserable. I have a solid support network, which I believe is invaluable for everyone! Have a person or people who you can trust wholeheartedly and rely on for support even in the darkest of times. Mine is my mum. My mum is the strongest woman I know and I know, without a doubt, I can trust her with anything and am always sure of a hug even if she can’t offer any support. And sometimes a hug is all that is needed.
6. I aim to refrain from sharing my negative mood and vibes with others, as I know it influences their own feelings.
7. Feel happy again. Rain doesn’t last forever, and neither does feeling bad, mad or sad. Allow yourself to feel those feelings, but then indulge in feeling happy again. Trust that the good is also okay!
8. I always try to keep a mental note of all the good things too – rather than counting the burdens and problems I face, I hurdle them and aim at focusing on the things I am blessed with ... even the small things! I used to try to make a list every single day of the good things, anything from fresh sheets, to a warm home-cooked meal to the feeling of rain on my nose or helping a total stranger. Anything and everything that I found the slightest bit of joy in, I made a mental note of. I should probably do that more often – I found so many extra little things in each day, things often seen as insignificant, that had the ability to make me smile. I am thankful for many things, and it is important to remind ourselves of those too!
Love and light,
* Results from BAM may vary. Strict adherence to the program is required for best results.