Finding Motivation: Part One
I often get asked by readers to help them find some motivation. Now, that is a difficult request to respond to simply because “motivation” doesn't tangibly exist as a product. It can’t be bought or taken from others, nor can it be shared with or gifted to us by others. Ultimately we can’t easily motivate anyone else, nor can we expect others to provide motivation for us. Motivation isn’t external to us, everything we need to motivate ourselves as an individual lies within only us.
Motivation has quite a few elements and the instructions for balancing these elements in the right quantities is different every time for every individual. The building blocks of motivation are often fear or intense desire and the biggest struggle to find and build motivation therefore goes on in our own mind. While sometimes we can be our own worst saboteurs, we can also be our own experts and greatest supporters.
The three tools we need to build this creation called “motivation” are:
To start with we will look at number one:
If we are constantly thinking in terms of fear as a motivator, we need to turn that around, at least sometimes, and reframe that negative into a positive. We can get so stuck on being fearful and on NOT wanting things. That is not such a problem in itself, because there is no action or activity associated with NOT wanting. It’s just that fear and NOT wanting keeps us from ever doing anything or achieving anything.
Fear keeps us unmotivated – because a goal to NOT do something can never be acted upon.
Fear zaps our energy and is so emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting.
Change the fear you feel and turn it into something you desire, such as a positive (for example, “I don’t want to fail my exams” can be reframed as “I want to pass my exams”). And then the planning can begin, where you identify and plan the little concrete steps needed to make your goal a reality. The goal is what you WANT to achieve and the steps are what you have to DO to get there.
Just focus on one goal and on just one or a few small steps at a time. There is nothing more disheartening and overwhelming than a list that seems never-ending. Maybe divide the steps into little groups and approach one group at a time, letting you feel a sense of achievement more often as you can tick off a step or a group of steps often and regularly.
Make sure you include some steps or activities that are fun and that you can look forward to. The more enjoyable it is, the more you will do it and go out of your way to make sure you do it. And the more you do it, the better you will get at it, and the sooner you can reach your goals. (This is starting to sound like motivation now, isn’t it?). Make sure you are flexible enough to change and moderate the steps as you go if you find a more enjoyable or effective alternative.
Reading and researching other people’s journeys or stories may help you to improve your focus and ultimately, your motivation. It starts you thinking and believing that logically, YOU CAN DO THIS TOO! Or it might bring out the competitor in you and you become more determined to take on the challenge. Reward yourself too remember — not just for achieving the goal but also at checkpoints along the way, for your effort and commitment.
Love and light,
* Results from BAM may vary. Strict adherence to the program is required for best results.