10 x Top Tips for Feeling Confident
One of the most frequently asked questions I receive is “How can I feel more confident?”. After struggling a lot with self confidence, self acceptance and self esteem issues when I was battling depression and anxiety, I know first-hand how hard it can be to find any sense of happiness or positivity about ourselves when stuck in that sort of situation or headspace. However, I also know this feeling of worthlessness and uselessness can change, and I like to think I am living proof of that.
Nowadays, I am one of the happiest, most shameless and least self-conscious people I know. Here you can find some of the tips and tricks I use each and every day to help attain and maintain my self confidence. I hope you find them helpful too!
It is pretty much impossible to feel unhappy and think negatively when you are smiling. Smiling, even just forcing a smile, can trigger a release of neuropeptides, which may help to reduce and decrease stress.
Smiling can also be a quick way to help stimulate the release of dopamine and serotonin, your body’s natural feel-good chemicals!
Just as Legally Blonde states; “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy...”. No joke, the physical act of simply moving your body can usually make you feel significantly better, almost instantaneously! And you also get to reap the long-term benefits of exercise, like increased stamina, strength, fitness and muscle tone. Is there anything about those benefits that won’t make you feel super confident?!
3. Find a purpose, passion or curiosity.
One of the surest ways to feel confident is to have something to feel certain and confident about. Whether it be a lifelong passion, an intuitive feel about your purpose or even a random curiosity, FOLLOW it! If something interests you, engages you, intrigues you, excites you, stimulates you or makes you feel that energising fire in the pit of your stomach or the base of your brain, then you have every right to explore that! If anything, you’ll be doing yourself a huge disservice not to!
These sorts of things in life provide you with drive, determination and a sense of belonging, inevitably increasing confidence too!
4. Find gratitude.
Focus on what you HAVE, instead of what you don’t. Confidence is essentially stemmed from inner contentment. Self confidence and self satisfaction are one and the same, grown on the same vine by the same (loving) hands.
When we begin to appreciate, accept, admire and give thanks for what we already have, gratitude increases and ultimately so does our self confidence. Constantly comparing, contrasting and judging our own lives, possessions, status, relationships and bodies against those of others will only ever lead to doubt, insecurity and dissatisfaction. Reshape your thinking; reshape your life.
NOTE: We tend to see things not as they are, but as WE are.
5. Swap “sorry” for “thank you”.
You are not an inconvenience. Too many times I hear people (myself included!) saying “sorry” for something that doesn’t necessarily require an apology at all. Sure, it is common courtesy and respectful and shows good manners, but the word “sorry” does also have associated psychological triggers that may make you subconsciously associate an “apology” with a fault, flaw or accident. And that YOU’RE to blame, when you’re not. And likely, no one actually is. If you find yourself saying “sorry” and after a quick reassessment, realise that saying “thank you” instead could be an equally respectful response, then try to make the conscious effort to correct yourself.
It’s a habit that although well-intended, can actually be hurting us in the long run!
6. Notice your internal lingo.
The way we speak to, and of, ourselves is central to the way we think about ourselves. If you want to feel more confident, try replacing negative thoughts and criticisms about yourself with a compliment or positive fact instead. Start small. Try looking in the mirror, and instead of picking a flaw or a part of yourself you don’t like or that you wish to change, try taking a step back, a deep breath and reassessing. Look at the WHOLE picture. Look at yourself as a WHOLE human. And replace every negative thought about yourself with a positive affirmation or compliment.
This may be easier said than done. If you are honestly finding it impossible to come up with something you like or admire about yourself, try thinking below the surface. Below your exterior being. Compliment yourself on how kind you are, how selflessly you give and share your time, how good you are at a certain skill or job or even how resilient you can be. For every one criticism you have, give yourself two compliments. You deserve them after all!
7. Shoulders back, chin up. Literally.
Posture is SUCH a significant factor in finding and feeling confidence. The way we sit, stand and move can actually be a direct correlation to our internal status.
Consciously noticing when you are slouching or hunching (especially in your shoulders/chest area, as this is where we typically hold the most tension and stress) and making the effort to counteract your position can instantly help to increase your mood, confidence and may elevate testosterone making you feel powerful and strong! #GoGurl!
8. Dare to do things differently.
You want to do something? Do it. Allowing fear of failure, ridicule or embarrassment to inhibit you from achievement, experience or life in general is nothing short of silly.
Bite your lip, clench your fists, squint your eyes if you must! Get thirty seconds of insane courage and just DO IT! Remember, you only regret the thing you DIDN’T do.
9. Treat yourself right.
Doing good FEELS good. And feeling good in general can increase our overall happiness and confidence! Try to eat an abundance of delicious and healthy foods as part of small, but frequent, meals. Sleep well — give your body time to recover and rejuvenate. Drink plenty of water. Our bodies work, think and feel best when they are hydrated and healthy!
10. Manage expectations.
Expectations are the root of all heartache. We can set ourselves these unrealistic expectations, and then become miserable when they are not fulfilled or transformed into our reality.
I know this is a hard one, but try to remove or limit these expectations, and enter into every situation, event and moment with an open mind and heart. That way, disappointment can be removed entirely AND you may even find yourself pleasantly surprised on more than one occasion!
Of course, these tips are not set instructions.
Keep in mind that some of the tips above will probably resonate with you, and others might not. Don’t allow this to get you down. Keep an open mind and understand that this list is not the only option. There are countless other ways you can increase, seek and find confidence!
If you find something else that helps you, then don’t be afraid to continue adding to this list for your own reference!
Love and light,
* Results from BAM may vary. Strict adherence to the program is required for best results.